Split Couples

Split Couples

Many couples who are seeking a divorce are usually in agreement with what they want. Both parties want their relationship to end and they are looking for the quickest way to accomplish it. But what about couples who are split on the divorce decision? Divorces in this category can often be a delicate matter because, when one spouse has decided that they want a divorce, it can be difficult to break the news to their partner. And if the divorcing spouse wishes to remain amicable with the reluctant one, slapping divorce papers in front of them without warning might not be the best course of action. So, what happens to these couples? How is their problem resolved?

Best Approaches

Seek Professional Help

The first option is to seek help from a professional. When trying to convince an unwilling husband or wife about divorce, it’s probably not be the best idea to have the divorcing party try to explain the benefits of splitting. Instead of helping the hesitant spouse to understand the reasons for divorce, this might only serve to generate more anger and confusion. But by using professional help, both parties can better understand what the other is feeling. Once both parities understand each other’s emotions, the entire process can begin to flow more smoothly.

Be Compassionate

The next point to remember is to show compassion. Divorce is a scary process, especially for someone who doesn’t want it. The last thing hesitant spouses need is to be faced with anger and a lack of understanding from their partner. So, instead of responding to reluctance with rage, try to understand how they’re feeling. Imagine being in their position. The person with whom they have the closest relationship has just told them that their marriage is over. They aren’t going to automatically accept or even comprehend that. It is going to take time. And during that time, they might raise objections as to why divorce shouldn’t be an option.

Deflecting Objections

When facing someone who does not want to divorce, several objections will be raised. One of the most common is that it is better to stay together for the kids. Another common one is that everything will get better with time. Because both of these arguments present legitimate cases for staying together, the divorcing spouse needs to be able to make legitimate counter arguments as to why divorce is still the best solution. If divorce is truly what he or she thinks is best for everyone, it needs to be made abundantly clear that no amount of arguing is going to change that. Arguing will only make things worse. And if the couple is wanting to remain on good terms with each other, constant fighting is not the best way to accomplish that goal.


Divorce is not a decision that couples should rush into. It takes a lot of time and thought to truly understand if separating is the best option. If a couple is split on this topic, they should take advantage of every opportunity available to help them come to a conclusion about what is best for them.

If you want to learn more about how to handle a split decision, contact Christine Howard at (864) 282-8575 or email at info@christinehoward.com.