How to Tell Your Kids About Uncontested Divorce

How to Tell Your Kids About Uncontested Divorce

Divorce is never easy for anyone involved. But it is especially hard on children. No parent wants to have to tell their child that everything they have known and loved is about to change. That is devastating for them to hear. Going through an uncontested divorce is the best possible outcome. It prevents the child from watching their parents fight in court. It also eliminates the possibility that they might have to decide which parent they want to live with. But regardless of the type of divorce, there is still no easy way to break the news to children. There are some tips to telling kids about divorce.

 Make Sure They Understand It’s Not Their Fault

When parents divorce, children can often times feel like they were part of the reason. They can think that it might be their fault. But this is not the case. Parents need to make sure that their children understand that they had nothing to do with the divorce. Also make sure they understand that it was no one’s fault. It was not the mother or the father who did something. Rather, the couple may have just grown apart. Helping the child to understand that the are not at fault will help them to cope with the overall process as well.

Share Only Relevant Details

Children are an important part of the divorce. However, that does not mean that they need to know everything that’s happening. They only need to know about the things that are relevant to them. These would include where they will be living, how the parents plan to co-parent them, whether or not they will need to move schools, etc. What they do not need to know is every problem that the parents might be having, how the divorce process is playing out, and any general annoyances the parents might have. The role of the children is not to be their parents sounding board. It is good to talk about the process, but when the children start to hear every problem, it is no longer healthy.

Present a United Front

Another thing that children whose parents are divorcing need is for the parents to be united. Parents who are divided on how the children will be raised will not be a good thing for the children in the long run. Everything they know is about to change. They need some form of stability to help them adjust. By having parents who present a united front for them, they can have confidence knowing that their parents will put their well-being first. Couples should always put the needs of their children as a top priority. By showing the kids that they can still work together, they can help their relationship as well. They have something that they still need to work together for. If they can parent together, then they will have a better chance of having their relationship stay on good terms.

Divorce is never an easy process for families to go through. When telling kids about divorce, it can be especially painful. If you or someone you know is thinking about divorce, contact Christine Howard today. Christine or a member of her team would be happy to answer any questions that you may have. Christine can be reached at info@christinehoward.com or by phone at (864) 282-8575.

Referenced from “Guide to Telling Your Children About Divorce” by Ayo & Iken Attorneys and Advocates.

What Do You Need to Know Before Meeting With Your Divorce Lawyer?

What Do You Need to Know Before Meeting With Your Divorce Lawyer?

Meeting with your divorce lawyer for the first time can be an intimidating process. You’re about to start out on a new phase of life, and a person that you have never met before is going to help you do it. While meeting with your lawyer can be scary, it doesn’t have to be. There are a few things to remember first before you have your first meeting.

Know What You Want

The first thing to remember when going to meet your attorney for the first time is to know what you want. Your attorney is there to help you draw up the terms of your divorce. A way to help speed this process along is to already have an idea of how you want to separate your assets. This does not have to be completely taken care at the beginning. You can go in with just an idea. It’s better to have an idea than nothing at all. Your attorney can help you with the specifics at your meetings. But having an outline of what you want beforehand will help tremendously when planning the terms of your divorce.

Have Financial Information Ready

Financial records are crucial to separation. In order to be able to divorce without much problem, you need to have all of your financial records available. This includes all bank accounts, credit cards, retirement savings, stocks, the last three years of tax returns, pay stubs, etc. Gathering all of these before meeting with your divorce attorney will be helpful to the process. The attorney will be able to have all of your records at the beginning and can reference them throughout the process while you both work to divide the assets evenly.

Don’t Be Afraid to Ask Questions

It’s perfectly fine to ask questions when you meet with your attorney for the first time. They expect that. Divorce can be hard and confusing. Attorneys understand this and they want to make the process as simple as they can. They understand that you are feeling confused and unsure of what to do next. They want you to ask them questions and they are more than happy to answer them for you. Having a list of questions already prepared can help you when you talk with your attorney. It is perfectly fine to ask questions that you think of as they come up. However, going into the meeting with prepared questions can help both of you. You already have an idea of how the process might work and can clarify anything you don’t understand. And when you ask a question to your attorney, it might be about something that they might have forgotten to go over.

Meeting your divorce lawyer for the first time can be a bit scary. But it does not have to be. If you or someone you know is looking to divorce, contact Christine Howard today. Christine or one of her team will be glad to answer any questions you may have about the process. Christine can be reached at info@christinehoward.com or by phone at (864) 282-8575.

Referenced from “5 Steps to Take Before Meeting Your Divorce Attorney for the First Time” by Weinberger Divorce & Family Law Group.

When is Separation the Best Option?

When is Separation the Best Option?

Separation is never a process that couples should rush into. It needs to be something that they spend time carefully thinking about. Separation is not always the best option for struggling marriages. But sometimes, there is nothing else that can be done. Separation can provide couples with a much needed break to evaluate the marriage. There are three main reasons why separation might be the best option.

Abusive Spouse

The first scenario where separation might make sense is in an abusive situation. When one spouse begins to seriously threaten the safety of the home, it is time to make a break. The spouse who is the victim has a responsibility to themselves and anyone else in danger to separate and get away from the abusive spouse. Some might try to wait out the danger and hope that it will end. But this is never the right course of action. Most likely, the abusive spouse will continue down that path, and staying will only make it worse for everyone. By getting away from the situation, you are protecting yourself and your children from being placed in harm’s way and allowing for the proper authorities to bring help.

Continuing Bad Habits

Another reason that couples should decide to separate is if one spouse has a history of continuing behaviors that break down the marriage. These can be anything from addiction to infidelity. The marriage can only survive if couples work together to combat any issues they are facing. If one spouse who is suffering from habitual problems refuses to correct them, a break might be in order. The other spouse being affected can do nothing but sit at the sidelines and watch. That is not fair to them and it is not fair to anyone else involved either. Spouses will know that it is time to separate if the spouse who is committing the behavior is not showing any signs of stopping or even wanting to stop.

Separating as Therapy

Sometimes couples will separate as a way to work through any marital issues. While separation is never something to step into lightly, couples who choose to go this route – especially for therapeutic reasons – need to think about it very carefully. Couples who separate for these reasons may not be seeking to divorce, but their marriage might not be working out in the way that it once did. The goal of separation would be temporary with the hope of reconciling. During this time, they need to evaluate where both stand on the marriage and attend counseling together. This way they can determine if the marriage can still work. If not they know that it is time to divorce.

Separation for any reason should be thought about very carefully before couples split. All couples who are seeking this route should not take it lightly. If you or someone you know is thinking about separating, contact Christine Howard today. Christine or anyone on her team would be more than happy to answer any questions you may have about the separation process. She can be reached at info@christinehoward.com or by phone at (864) 282-8575.

Referenced from “Things to Consider Before You Separate” by Focus on the Family.

Coping With the Effects of Divorce

Coping With the Effects of Divorce

Divorce is a difficult process for couples to go through. Not only is it difficult legally and financially, it is also difficult emotionally. The impact of divorce can leave emotional scars on both spouses, but also on kids and other family members. After the divorce is finalize, the next step is to begin the healing process. There are several methods of coping with divorce that have proven to be helpful.

 Get Some Rest

First, make sure to rest after the divorce. Realize that it is okay to not be okay and that it will take time to get back to normal. During this time, if you don’t feel like you can function at the level you used to, that is alright. Take the time to rest, and begin to reconstruct your life. This way when you can go back to work and be more productive than you could have been before.

Surround Yourself With Friends

In the time after the divorce, it is important to be among friends and family. This is a difficult process and you need people who will support you through it. Talking with them about how you are feeling can help to release any pent up emotions that you may have. Along with being around friends, it can be helpful to join support groups. Talking with others in similar situations can help you to cope with your own. You also now have others to talk to who understand what you are feeling.

Take Care of All Your Needs

When coping with divorce, you need to spend time taking care of both your physical and emotional needs. Take time out of your schedule to either develop or continue a healthy lifestyle. This includes eating right, exercising, making sure to get rest. By doing this you can work to return to normalcy. Developing healthy habits will give your mind a way to deal with the stress.

Take Time for Your Interests

Another way to cope with the effects of divorce, spend time doing things you like to do. Work on developing hobbies that you liked to do apart from your spouse. You have the opportunity now, why not take it? Doing things that you enjoy will also help you to get your mind off of things. It is important to take time to relax and still have fun after your divorce. Plus, taking a more active interest in your hobbies can help you make new friends as well.

Everything Will Be Fine

Finally, it is important to remember that everything is going to be alright. Coping with divorce is not easy, but your life will return to normal. While normal will be different from what you are used to, you will need to establish a new normal.  It’s hard. But ultimately, you will be better for it in the long run.

Divorce is never an easy process to go through. It can have both physical and emotional effects for everyone involved. If you or someone you know is considering divorce, contact Christine Howard today. Christine or one of her team members will be happy to answer any questions that you have. Christine can be reached at info@christinehoward.com or by phone at (864) 282-8575.

Referenced from “Coping with Separation and Divorce” by Mental Health America

What You Need to Know Before Filing for Separation

What You Need to Know Before Filing for Separation

Separation is never an easy process for couples to go through. Not only is it emotionally difficult, but it can be legally difficult too. For couple wanting to separate, knowing what steps to take before filing for separation is crucial.

What Does Separation Mean?

In this state, the law requires that spouses live separately for one year before continuing the divorce. What does living separately mean? It means that couples need to reside in different houses before they can qualify for a no-fault divorce. During this time the couples cannot share a house for any reason. Filing for separation will only be able to move forward if couples make plans to move into separate residences.

Dividing Assets

After a couple has taken separate residences, they will need to start going through their finances. As individuals, they will not be able to hold joint accounts after the divorce. It is important during this time to start gathering together a financial plan that will last into the separation and divorce. Couples need to determine a variety of things. Equally splitting any assets involved is the most important part. Assets are anything that the couple owns together. Things like the house, cars, financial accounts, and any other possessions qualify as assets. When a couple separates they will no longer be able to share ownership of these things, so they need to decide who will take what.

Along with determining who takes what, couples need to determine who will pay any debts that are owed. This can cover anything from mortgage to car payments to personal loans that are due. Couples who are separated cannot continue to work together to pay these off. The responsibility has to be given to one spouse. It is up to the couple to determine who is in the best place financially to handle the burden of debt. Neither spouse has to take on all of the debt though. It can be split between spouses with one taking the house payment, another taking a car payment, etc.

Going Through Your Finances

Couples will also need to create separate accounts for everything. Joint accounts will no longer be valid when the couple is not together. Couples need to go through and first close any joint accounts. These include all accounts, checking, savings, credit, etc. Then they need to move their individual finances into new accounts that belong solely to them. Couples also need to set budgets for themselves for after the separation. Regardless of how much each spouse makes, the amount of income will be lower than before. To stay financially stable during this time, spouses will need to know how much income will be coming in and budget accordingly. This way neither one will enter single life with financial struggles.

We Help You Navigate Separation Agreements

Separation will be a difficult process in many ways for everyone involved. But planning for the separation will help the couple to transition smoothly. If you or someone you know is looking to enter into separation, contact Christine Howard today. Christine and her team of attorneys will be glad to answer any questions that you have about the separation process. Christine can be reached at info@christinehoward.com or by phone at (864) 282-8575.

Referenced from “9 Things to do Before You File for a Divorce” by Cathy Meyer