Divorce is never easy for anyone involved. But it is especially hard on children. No parent wants to have to tell their child that everything they have known and loved is about to change. That is devastating for them to hear. Going through an uncontested divorce is the best possible outcome. It prevents the child from watching their parents fight in court. It also eliminates the possibility that they might have to decide which parent they want to live with. But regardless of the type of divorce, there is still no easy way to break the news to children. There are some tips to telling kids about divorce.
Make Sure They Understand It’s Not Their Fault
When parents divorce, children can often times feel like they were part of the reason. They can think that it might be their fault. But this is not the case. Parents need to make sure that their children understand that they had nothing to do with the divorce. Also make sure they understand that it was no one’s fault. It was not the mother or the father who did something. Rather, the couple may have just grown apart. Helping the child to understand that the are not at fault will help them to cope with the overall process as well.
Share Only Relevant Details
Children are an important part of the divorce. However, that does not mean that they need to know everything that’s happening. They only need to know about the things that are relevant to them. These would include where they will be living, how the parents plan to co-parent them, whether or not they will need to move schools, etc. What they do not need to know is every problem that the parents might be having, how the divorce process is playing out, and any general annoyances the parents might have. The role of the children is not to be their parents sounding board. It is good to talk about the process, but when the children start to hear every problem, it is no longer healthy.
Present a United Front
Another thing that children whose parents are divorcing need is for the parents to be united. Parents who are divided on how the children will be raised will not be a good thing for the children in the long run. Everything they know is about to change. They need some form of stability to help them adjust. By having parents who present a united front for them, they can have confidence knowing that their parents will put their well-being first. Couples should always put the needs of their children as a top priority. By showing the kids that they can still work together, they can help their relationship as well. They have something that they still need to work together for. If they can parent together, then they will have a better chance of having their relationship stay on good terms.
Divorce is never an easy process for families to go through. When telling kids about divorce, it can be especially painful. If you or someone you know is thinking about divorce, contact Christine Howard today. Christine or a member of her team would be happy to answer any questions that you may have. Christine can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or by phone at (864) 282-8575.
Referenced from “Guide to Telling Your Children About Divorce” by Ayo & Iken Attorneys and Advocates.